View Full Version : Fear And Loathing In Stark-Vegas

09-27-2010, 02:44 PM
The tequila kicked in around fraternity row about 11:45 Friday night.

I drank too much of that Satanic juice in downtown Stark-Vegas that some Mexican had stomped out of a cactus and bottled somewhere around Matamoros.

I left downtown that night and headed toward campus because if one more flop haired boy in a dirty cap had stumbled up to me hanging on some freshman girl and said ," Dude, I'm Fuuuugggged up!", I probably would have gotten my ass kicked for punching his ass in the nose.

Although flattered a few told me ," Your bitch is banging", I had had enough.

I took my "Banging Bitch" for a late night romantic tour of the campus.

At fraternity row an evil thought struck me, and therefore another sad and terrible chapter in the book that is my life was written.

See, back when I was a freshman at State, I had once talked an innocent girl from Gulfport into getting to "know" me, in the Biblical sense, in a certain place in a certain fraternity house.

I told my little Peach of a girl I wanted to show her something when we were in front of that certain fraternity house.

Now, this girl and I have really "known" each other in the past. However, getting to "know" each other back where we were staying would be boring and dull. I thought I would spice things up by reliving a moment of my glorious youth.

Re-coning the area I saw minimum activity. I boldly marched up and pushed open the front door. The entry way was empty, and I heard no sound. So far so good.

The Peach had no idea as to my nefarious, and maybe criminal plans.

I lead her up near the spot where I once stuck gold, when out of nowhere some flop haired boy in a dirty cap, with obviously no social life, appeared out of nowhere.

"Hey, dude. What are you doing here?", he asked.

Thinking quickly, I slung my arm around my girl's shoulders causing her to stagger and stumble.

I looked at him and said, " Dude, I'm Fuuggged up!"

Well, he basically told me to get the hell out of there and escorted us to the door.

Embarrassing shit, right there.

Thrown out of the place where many a past glory had taken place by an 18 year old pledge who couldn't get laid in a women's prison.

My bewildered and now pissed off Peach didn't know what the hell to think. As we walked back to where we were staying she asked me why I had taken her there.

Like a dumbass, I told her.

Needless to say, I didn't get to "know" shit about anything that night. Or the next.

Hell, at least we won the game. (Which made the Georgia Peach now be double pissed)

The trip back home was cold and quiet, which suited me fine. I had a killer hangover and a bad case of the blue balls.

I "know" that would have been better than losing.

Because if had we lost, I would have had a hangover, the blue balls , and have been pissed off to the highest level of piss-tivity.

But what do I "know."?

I don't "know" shit about much of anything.

If I, did I would have "known" a hell of lot more Friday night.

Dude, I guess I'm just Fuuugggged up.