Two Daves Pick The SEC

November 7, 2009



Welcome to Two Daves Pick The SEC! Alas, we are in the final month of the 2009 regular season. We have some really crappy games this week. Ole Miss versus Northern Arizona? It's November, not September. This is the time of year for rivalry games and tough conference matches. LSU at Alabama, now that's some serious November football. Making up for these football deficiencies, we are pleased to present our man BUBB RUBB! WOO WOOOOOO!



Doug says:



Well, regretfully, the football season is now coming down the home stretch. Most of the games this week will be easy wins for the home team. The only two compelling match ups are SC-Arkansas and LSU-Alabama. The dumbfounding match up is Northern Arizona-Ole Miss. How do you play two non-FBS teams in the same year? Speaking of Ole Miss, my how the mighty have fallen. At one time, #4 in the nation, and now, fighting for bowl eligibility. The Rebs still have to play Tennessee, LSU, and Mississippi State, and they face the prospect of going into the egg bowl and needing a win to get bowl eligible.



Bubb says:



Yeah, that's right. Bubb Rubb back from tha dead. Magee say he's been wonderin' where I been, and he been wantin' me to pick some games, but all he had to do was call me. Maybe he did call me back in August, but my phone was cut off for about a month, but he know where I stay, and he know I loves me some SEC football. You know, I gotta say that the man always gotta be holdin' us back. My boy Obama got elected, but my boy Crooms got fired. One step forward, one step back. Rich Brooks needs to take his old ass to tha retirement home so we can get another brutha as a head coach up in here.





South Carolina at Arkansas



Dave says:



The luster came off of this game as the chickens laid an egg last week at Tennessee. Arkansas is a huge Jeckyl/Hyde team. We do not know which team will show up: the one that skulldrug Texas A&M or the one that lost to Ole Miss. I'm going to go with the home team.



Arkansas 27

AKC 23



Doug says:



Here we are, in November, and I still can't get a read on how good Arkansas is. They've looked unbelievable in a win against Auburn, and they've looked putrid in a loss to Ole Miss. South Carolina, meanwhile, has been fairly consistent. They didn't play like I expected them to last week against Tennessee, though. I think they'll rebound this week as they visit the land of mobile homes and Wal-Mart.



Cackolackey 27

Sooie 24



Bubb says:



I don't know nothin' about Arkansas, but my cousin Cornelius say they got a real good offense, but their defense sucks. He knows what a sucky defense look like, too, cuz he a Raider fan just like I am. Common sense say an offensive genius like Coach Spurrier against a bad defense means bad things for tha Hogs.



Chicken 38

Pork 28





Tennessee Tech at Georgia



Dave says:



Tennessee Tech, an oxymoron, heads to Athens to play the battered Georgia

Bulldogs. Not battered just because Florida laid them out, battered

because they've not had a great season and Mark Richt is feeling the heat.

A resounding win here will not take the heat off of Richt, as Georgia is

supposed to win this game and most of its conference games every year.



UGA 34 - TT 13



Doug says:



Congrats, Tech, you are sacrificial lamb #1 for this week. Georgia will win this one in a cakewalk, and they need it. They weren't even competitive at the cocktail party last week, and that's a problem. Maybe Georgia can pretend that this is Georgia Tech, and feel much better about themselves and their season. Then again, if they pretend this is Georgia Tech, they'll lose by three touchdowns.



Hairy Dawgs 38

Roadkill #1 10



Bubb says:



What happened to Jawga?? Florida kicked that ass, and Coach Meyer didn't even have to act a fool to do it. L'il Sis still say Mark Richt is her favorite coach, but he betta get his stuff together or he gonna be lookin' for a new job soon. Maybe they can hire Coach Croom.



Jawga 31

Tech 17





Eastern Kentucky at Kentucky



Dave says:



Kentucky's defense is still probably tired from the abuse administered by Anthony Dixon. Dixon ran for 252 yards and two TD's against the Cats in Lexington. Dixon is three yards behind Alabama's Mark Ingram in total rushing yardage for the season. Fortunately for UK, there's a pansy coming to town. Even after UK wins this game, Rich Brooks will still look like someone peed in his cheerios.



Kentucky 31

eek! 21



Doug says:



Congrats, directional Kentucky, you are sacrificial lamb #2 this week. Kentucky is coming off a loss to Mississippi State in a game that head coach-in-waiting Joker Phillips called "the biggest game in the last 30 years". Oops. Luckily for the Wildcats, they play a ridiculously mediocre non-conference schedule, so they should inch closer to bowl eligibility this week.



Mildcats 38

Roadkill #2 7



Bubb says:



I didn't even know there was an Eastern Kentucky. Folks in Kentucky never heard of Eastern Kentucky. There will prolly be more folks at tha basketball scrimmage than at tha football game. You know, I'm gonna hafta start rootin' for Kentucky. In basketball, Coach Cal is gonna thug it up with tha best talent in tha conference, as long as they can spell their name and stay off tha "blue grass". Lotsa tats and cornrows. Adolph Rupp is already rollin' in his grave. And then one day soon, Coach Brooks is gonna retire and we're gonna get a brutha named Joker as head football coach. Yep, I gotta start rootin' for Kentucky.



Wildcatz 55

I don't even know what to call them 0





Furman at Auburn





Dave says:



Furman? WTF?? Just when you thought Ole Miss was bad with Northern Arizona, Auburn pulls out Furman? This one is already over; Furman will show up to collect a paycheck.



7 wins, woohoo! 44

We got some money 10



Doug says:



Congrats, Furman, you are sacrificial lamb #3 this week. Auburn returned to form last week in a complete dismantling of Ole Miss. And honestly, everybody laughed a little. Now Auburn gets a chance to tune up the offense a bit and rest their defense before heading into the home stretch. Chizik's luster faded a bit when they lost three straight, but Auburn fans really should be happy with the results so far, compared with what the expectations were at the beginning of the year.



War Tigers 41

Roadkill #3 14



Bubb says:



I've heard of Furman before cuz I got some cousins that live in South Carolina. I don't know nothin' about their football team, though. I know enough to know that they gonna get rolled this weekend. I don't know why Auburn had to fire Coach Tuberville, but at least I don't fall asleep when I watch them play football anymore.



Aubrun 44

Carolina Representin' 10







LSU at Alabama



Dave says:



Now here's a big time game with big time implications. If Alabama wins, they are assured a trip to Atlanta for the SEC Title game against Florida. If LSU wins this game and wins out, they will play Florida (again) in Atlanta, and both teams are well aware of this. Both of these teams have a tremendous amount of talent on both sides of the ball.



This series has had some weird stretches. The home team lost for what, 15 consecutive years in the 80's and 90's. Shaun Alexander put it best, "The tide don't lose in Baton Rouge". Following that logic, Alabama is in trouble, since this game is at Reginald Denny stadium. Forget all that crap, this game will be decided by coaching, and Les is going up against Darth Vader. What else do you need to know?



Alabama 21

LSU 17





Doug says:



This is the game of the week. Alabama will beat LSU just like they've beaten everyone else. It won't be sexy or dynamic. It will be a methodical, forceful deluge. The Tide will impose their will, three to four yards at a time, and there's nothing LSU can do about it. By the fourth quarter, the score will be relatively close, within 10 points or so, but LSU's spirit will be broken as they know they won't be able to do anything against that Tide defense.



Baloney Sandwiches 24

Jambalaya 14



Bubb says:



Games like this is why I became a fan of tha SEC. Coach Saban against his old team. Coach Miles runnin' fake punts and field goals. My cousin Cornelius lives in Birmingham and knows all about Bama fans. Me and Magee done been to Baton Rouge before, so I know all about LSU fans. The fightin' outside the stadium might be better than tha football game.



Rednecks 31

Cajuns 14





Memphis at Tennessee



Dave says:



While this is another crappy game, at least its an attempt for a rivalry. The problem for Memphis is that the rivalry his extremely one sided. That won't change this weekend either. Hey to Derrick Rose.



Cover Two 40

Cover Up 13



Doug says:



Congrats, Memphis, you are sacrificial lamb #4 this week. Tennessee has really seemed to right the ship, and are playing with confidence. I shall cease from making fun of Jonathan Crompton, since he's become startlingly effective in recent weeks. I don't know whether to be happy for him, or be fearful of the impending apocalypse. Memphis is just flat-out putrid this year, and it looks like the team and fans has quit on Tommy West. This won't be the final nail in his coffin, but it may be the next-to-last one.



Rocky Top 41

Tiger High 3



Bubb says:



I watched Memphis play East Carolina on TV, and there wuz nobody at the game. I mean, tha stadium was empty. And then Carolina just flat whooped Memphis. This week, they ain't playin' East Carolina. I gots a soft spot in my heart for Lane Kiffin cuz he coached my Raiders for a year. He likes to run is mouth, and that's what Oakland folks like. His boys gonna hand out an Oaktown-style whippin' this week.



Big Orange 55

Memprho 0





Vanderbilt at Florida



Dave says:



Vanderbilt gave Georgia Tech all they wanted for three quarters. The problem for Bobby Johnson is that the game lasts four quarters. After facing Paul Johnson's abusive running attack, now the Commodores face Tim Tebow and his ruthless rushing attack. In addition, the game is in the Swamp.



Florida 37

Vanderbilt 16



Doug says:



Congrats, Vanderbilt, you are sacrificial lamb #5 this week. It looks like Florida righted the ship against Georgia. Meanwhile, Vandy was frisky with Georgia Tech before finally giving up the ghost. They won't be quite as spry with the Gators this week, and I'll be moderately surprised if the Commodores can muster many first downs, let alone points. Since Bubb is here, I won't steal any lines from him this week. I don't want to get knifed or anything.



Gators 48

Gator Bait 0



Bubb says:



My soul bruthas are done. I had high hopes for them at the beginning of tha year since they went to a bowl game last year. But they're sorry again. Florida is gonna put a beatin' on them and Tebow is gonna be givin' out free piggy back rides for all tha Vanderbilt defensive linemen. I think Bama gonna get 'em later, but until then, tha Gators got clear sailin' ahead.



Tebows 55

Easy Like Sunday Morning 7





N. Arizona at Mississippi



Dave says:



Wow, Northern Arizona, can you sense the excitement? Ole Miss started the season with lofty expectations, but now they hope to salvage a winning season. They move one step closer to the latter.



Ole Miss 31

N/A 7



Doug says:



Congrats, Northern Arizona, you are sacrificial lamb #6 this week. Congrats, Ole Miss, every talking head is mocking you (when they really should be mocking themselves for being so quick to jump on your bandwagon). I still think the Rebs have a good football team, and they can still do a lot of damage with LSU, Tennessee, and MSU ahead of them on the schedule. But, playing two Division AA schools (or whatever the heck the NCAA is calling that division these days) means that the Rebs have to win 7 to gain bowl eligibility. They'll get their sixth win this week, but after that, all bets are off. And shame on them for playing this schedule.



Confederates 38

Roadkill #6 14



Bubb says:



What a turrible schedule Ole Miss has. I hear they students be getting in trouble for sayin' "The South Will Rise Again" when they play tha fight song or whatever. The school had to get rid of that flag, then that mascot, and now this. Coach Nutt is glad for this mess, cuz it is taking attention away from tha football team.