Two Daves Pick The SEC
November 28th, 2009

Welcome to Two Daves Pick The SEC! It's Black Friday, so shopping malls are abuzz. What does that mean? There's a lot of guys left alone at home that will take full advantage of this situation and watch every game on TV, SEC or not! The marquee game is the Iron Bowl, Alabama's own version of extreme hatred. ESPN keeps pimping the Boise State - Nevada game. That should be the Boise State scrimmage with Nevada.

I was delighted to find that the man, excuse me, INS, had not disturbed longtime Two Daves friend Jesus Muscatel since he made an appearance a few weeks back. Since Jesus is a free man, he's back this week as the Guest Dave.

Doug says:

Well, it's the final week of college football's "regular season," if there's such a thing. We've seen quite a collection of interesting and surprising things occur, from Auburn's early return to relevance, to Ole Miss's early return to mediocrity, to Georgia's season to forget. We've seen Tennessee look like powerhouses one week, and like pushovers the next. We've seen Vanderbilt return to being, well, Vanderbilt. We've seen LSU's Les Miles run out of magic dust. We've seen Mississippi State be relatively competitive against a monster schedule with a midget for a QB and at least six true freshmen getting extensive playing time. We've seen Kentucky, Arkansas, and South Carolina get bowl eligible and win some big games, but also underwhelm at times. And after all of that, we see exactly what we expected: Alabama and Florida playing for the SEC title. And what a game that's going to be, huh?

After this week and championship week, we get a steady diet of hoops until the bowl games kick off. As much as I love college basketball, it's just not the same. Regardless, I'm paying tribute to some of the names of past SEC hoopsters with my picks.

A little birdie tells me that Bubb will be back for the Bowl Edition. He's got plenty of time to prepare, so that should be good stuff. Stay tuned.

Jesus Muscatel rejoins us for a second stint as Guest Dave. We love Jesus and you should too.

Jesus says:

Greetings to all my brethren in Two Daves Land from Louie's on The Lake on South Padre Island, where Rick Stansbury's Mississippi State cagers are checkin' out the chicks and I'm buyin' shots for anybody ready and/or willing to rig the Texas Lottery in favor of mi hermano Willie Muscatel. We've run this scam before and got deported for all our troubles. But hey, la migra, that's an inconvenience, not real coppers. Anyway I think State's fixin' to play the Barking Spiders from Richmond. I found out what a barkin' spider was in the men's room at closing time at a bar in Chicago back in the day. Trust me, you wanna keep your distance ...Jesus Muscatel keeps his distance from the man, you know what I'm sayin'

Alabama at Auburn

Dave says:

Hatred, Alabama style. Other conferences have rivalries, the SEC is choc full of hatred. Auburn-Alabama, State - Ole Miss, Florida-Georgia. This game has a little more meaning than the usual Iron Bowl. Alabama is in the mix for the BCS title game, Auburn is trying to position itself for a better bowl game. A win over Bama would be icing on the cake for Gene Chizik.
Auburn is capable of playing pretty good football, but they've also choked a few times (hey to UGA). Alabama's defense is playing near an NFL level - they are tremendous. A strong showing here might be the nudge to get Mark Ingram the Heisman. I think this will be a tight game.

Elephants 27
War Beagles 23

Doug says:

The Iron Bowl is appointment television every year. Tommy Tuberville pretty much owned the Tide, whether they want to admit it or not, and I'm still at a loss for why Ears had to lose his job last year. But what's done is done, and now Alabama comes to the Plains with a 1-6 record in the last seven meetings. Or as your standard Bama fan would put it, "Alabama looks to continue the domination this year ROLLTIDE LOLZ!!!1!11!". With that said, the Tide should win this game. Auburn has returned to competitiveness, but I don't think they can hang with Alabama for 60 minutes. This one will probably be like all the others…relatively close and methodical with the Tide eventually pulling away.

Latrell Sprewell 28
Charles Barkley 17

Jesus says:

My bookie took a lot of action on Auburn, and he's nervous about that 12-point spread. Me, I partook in the spread over in Matamoros the other day for an early Thanksgiving -- Frito Pie, enchiladas, fried turkey and Corona. You know, across the border they use real sugar in Coca Cola products instead of corn syrup like in the States. Anyway Nick Saban was pretty syrupy in "The Blind Side." Was doin' his LSU coach thing while pledgin' allegiance to Bear Bryant, John Hannah and Mike DuBose's secretary behind their backs ... Anyway I like the Tide, but not to cover.

Alabammy 27
Aubiemammy 20

Clemson at South Carolina

Dave says:

Another Heisman contender, Clempson's CJ Spiller, needs a strong showing today to have a chance in winning the trophy. The problem? He's facing Ellis Johnson's defense, which is a pretty stout unit. So it's a lock for USC, right? Not so fast my fine feathered friends, USC seems to fall apart at the end of the season and I always pick this one wrong. Spurrier is 1-3 against Clempson, something I never thought would happen.

Clempson 27
AKC 24

Doug says:

Every year I make the mistake of going with the Cocks in this game, and more often than not, I end up regretting the decision, as SC has lost six of the last seven in the series. I won't make that mistake this year. If my pro-ACC pick this week ends up biting me in the rear end when USCe wins, then so be it. My humility will gladly be sacrificed for an SEC win in this game. At some point, though, you'd think the OBC would have enough of losing to his little brother. Maybe this year will be different. I'm hoping, but I'm also doubting…

Elden Campbell 31
Alex English 21

Jesus says:

Since coming to the Chicken Coup, our boy Darth Visor is 1-3. He gets the Clemson Clods at home this time. I think he's gonna win. Don't ask me why, I think he's gonna win. Then again, my daddy, Gen. Francisco Muscatel, had money on Egypt in the Six-Day War. That didn't work out so good.

Columbia Cluckers 23
Go to Anderson, S.C., and take a left 13

Mississippi at Mississippi State

Dave says:

The Egg Bowl, Mississippi's own version of extreme hatred. This rivalry is right up there with Auburn-Alabama. The game is in Starkville, so Ole Miss' best fans, the KKK won't be at this game. After a sluggish start and choking away some games, Ole Miss has gotten red hot at the end of the season, just like last year. Unlike last year, when Jevan Snead got red hot, the reason for this year's success is Dexter McCluster. Dexter has extreme quickness and can leave guys breaking their ankles trying to catch him.

Mississippi State features future NFL draft pick Anthony Dixon. Dixon has run extremely well this year, well over 1,000 yards and owns almost every rushing record at State.

Rebel fans love to point to last year's 45-0 bitchslap. That was last year, and if they are not looking forward, they will be in trouble. Sylvester Croom is gone and the Dawgs will not roll over in an effort to get rid of their coach (hey, it worked well last year). Ole Miss will win this game, but State will be very competitive.

Ole Miss 34
State 27

Doug says:

Ah, the egg bowl. Thanksgiving hasn't been the same without being able to watch this game from the couch, in a tryptophan-induced coma. Maybe one day they'll move it back to Thanksgiving night. For my money, the hatred and venom of this game is on par with any other in the SEC, and it was fun to see it in full glory on ESPN Prime Time. As for this year's game, Ole Miss should win. I expect State to be competitive, and I expect the stadium to be loud. If Snead shows up to play, Ole Miss shouldn't have much trouble. If the State defense can get to Snead, then it will be interesting. After seeing Ryan Mallet torch the State defense last week, I am comfortable in saying Snead will likely have a field day.

Ansu Sesay 38
Erick Dampier 28

Jesus says:

Lemme see if I got this right. The Bulldogs got the Thanksgivin' stuffin' knocked out of them up in Little Rock on Saturday, and they threw the ball 13 times. In Lubbock, that's called cuttin' off your nose to spite your face. In Brownsville, we call it spittin' in the face of conventional wisdom, or trying to pole vault your way over Rio Grande River into the States. Good luck with dat. Ole Miss is pretty lucky to have run into the Les Miles Encounter Group on Saturday, so I think the Nutt of Houston will have the Rebs' attention this week.

Cussin' Colonel Rebs 28
Dogcussion' the Dawgs 13

Florida State at Florida

Dave says:

Word on the street is that Florida fans have organized to wear eye black to honor Tim Tebow. I think that's a great tribute to an exceptional person. There's not a lot of football players that spend their off time traveling the world for missionary trips. Love him or hate him, Tebow is a very special person and a very good football player. A strong win here and Tebow might pick up another Heisman.

Bobby Bowden is hanging on for dear life in Tallahassee. There is a movement to send him on his way and let Jimbo Fisher, the infamous coach in waiting, have the reigns. Defensive Coordinator Mickey Andrews is retiring at the end of this season, and Bowden needs to take a hint. Urban Meyer will provide some encouragement for Bowden to go ahead and leave. Joe Pa needs to go with him.

Chomp Chomp 34
I've fallen and I can't get up 21

Doug says:

So, papa Bowden has been catching some heat this year. It's time for him to go. He really doesn't do anything anyway. They're paying him to stand around while everyone else coaches. Jimbo Fisher should be the one on the hot seat, right? And while Florida State will continue their bowl streak this year, they are a pretty mediocre football team. The Gators destroy mediocre football teams, by the way. Over/under on number of "Dadgums!" yelled during the game: 26.

Mike Miller 41
Sam Cassell 21

Jesus says:

Somebody, please, tell me this game ain't on CBS on Saturday. Wait, it is? Are you serious? I've seen so much of Tebow I thought he was pushing a shopping cart down Aisle 3 of the Piggly Wiggly the other night. He had some Rosarita refries, some tequila and a coupla chicks by his side, neither of whom would admit to bein' his girlfriend. I said, Yo, Timmy Boy, I'm down with dat, why buy the dairy when you get all the milk you want? Still, I'm sick of the guy. And 23 points is too much for a rivalry game, even one that's gotten this lame on account of FSU's incompetence.

Florida Orange Juice 35
Give Chief Osceola The Juice 17

Tennessee at Kentucky

Dave says:

Rich Brooks somehow keeps his team going, and a win here would improve the quality of a bowl game that the Cats will go to. Tennessee has had a good year as well, despite being unable to tackle Dexter McCluster. This one will be close.

Vols 24
We don't have a McCluster 21

Doug says:

I thought Tennessee had it together until they laid that egg against Ole Miss a couple of weeks ago. After a pretty bland, but successful week against Vandy, I'm not quite ready to proclaim that the Vols are back on track. Kentucky has had a solid season, even if they did lose to Mississippi State. I think this one will be tight early, but UT will have too much for the Mildcats. Monte Kiffin's defense should be too much for a freshman QB to handle.

Bernard King 28
Rex Chapman 14

Jesus says:

I like Rich Brooks. Really, I do. He was on a Carnival cruise ship one time with me and my homies, and we both happened to catch a glimmerin' glimpse of Roselyn Sanchez on the Promenade Deck, taking a break from "Without a Trace." I said to my boy Brooksie, 'Yo, Richie baby, I'd like to be tracin' that.' He said, 'Jesus, you're a man of taste and integrity. Now have the pool boy bring me another margarita.' He's a nice guy, so I didn't mind. Oh yeah, the Vols. They might be packing heat. But they won't need it.

Pump Up The Vol-ume 31
Kentucky Rain Keeps' Fallin' Down 21

Georgia at Georgia Tech

Dave says:

Georgia Tech looks to finish the season undefeated against SEC teams. Of course, Mississippi State and Vanderbilt are the last placed teams in the conference. Georgia has laid a few eggs this year and they have pulled a few rabbits out of the hat. I don't think Georgia has what it will take to stop Paul Johnson's triple headed running attack. The seat heats up in Athens.

Georgia Tekk 31
Jawga 21

Doug says:

Every year, Georgia should dominate this game. Tech's win last year was their first since 2000 in the series, and this year will make it two in a row. Georgia is wrapping up a season to forget, while Georgia Tech is in the top ten. Definitely, Tech's defense is suspect, and Joe Cox will be playing at night, so this one will be fairly tight, with the Bulldogs putting up some points. But the Jackets will rush for about 400 yards and take control. Mark Richt hopes this season was just a bump in the road, but he'd better come up with a quarterback, and a defense, or next year may be his last between the hedges.

Matt Harpring 31
Dominique Wilkins 24

Jesus says:

You ever been to Bobby Dodd Stadium? Man, that thing is a relic. Jawga, I can't figure out what's wrong with those boys. They've got some talent. They're just not winning any big games. Mark Richt was ridin' on Easy Street two or three years back. Now he just looks like a more polished, better lookin' version of Ray Goof, I mean, Ray Goff. These Yellowjackets know how to run the football.

We Do The ACC proud 38
We Do The Papajohns.com Bowl 24

Arkansas at LSU

Dave says:

Ole Miss extracted revenge for the Billy Canon punt return last weekend. LSU's rancid game management cost them a win, and quite possibly much more - a BCS matchup. The hat clearly has no brain, and the Tiger nation is livid; rightfully so. Arkansas has hit a stride with Ryan Mallet and is putting up really good numbers. Arkansas has had LSU's number as of late, so this makes this a very difficult pick. Flip a coin.

LSU 24 - Arkansas 21

Doug says:

You know, I said early on that if Leslie Miles suffers another loss to Arkansas, his seat will be on fire. Well, I don't think he had to wait that long. Coonasses don't take too kindly to losing to inferior football teams like they did last week. You can blame it solely on Miles, too, for the clock management blunders at the end of the game. His seat isn't the only thing that's hot, though; that Razorback offense is pretty hot in its own right. This one will be interesting, I think, but LSU will get it done in the end.

Stromile Swift 27
Corliss Williamson 24

Jesus says:

I wanted to save the best, I mean the worst, for last. You know you can get WWL Radio down here on the border at night, that's a powerful puppy on the AM dial, and Deke Bellavia was on the air the other night, takin' calls from slobberknockered Tigers fans with too much tequila and too much time on their hands. Yeah, we get it. The Mad Hatter lost his head up in Oxford. Gary Crowton's probably gonna walk the plank. Then he throws his quarterback under the bus. Hey, the Hogs have won their last two against LSU. But the Tigers are playin' at night, and if you listen to your everyday LSU fan ... hey, that's your problem, but they're supposed to win. Good enough for me.

LSU 24
Arkansas 17