Two Daves Pick the SEC

September 11, 2010

Welcome to Two Daves Pick the SEC! With a last minute appeal, Mississippi was able to get Jeremiah Masoli reinstated to play football immediately. With Masoli on board, the Rebels only managed to lose at home by one to I-AA opponent Jacksonville State. As Vince Neil sings it, when you dance with the devil, your day will come to pay. In the time it took you to read that, Florida had two more bad snaps. LSU offered North Carolina their game on a silver platter, however, the Tar Heels refused to take it. Les may not have brains, but he’s got luck.

Media darlings Boise State pulled out a win over Virginia Tech, and we will hear the argument that they belong in the BCS title game. To remediate this problem, the BCS needs to make it a requirement that any team playing in a BCS bowl game must play at least one third of its schedule against BCS conference teams. That would help stop the one tough game and 11 cupcakes problem.

Speaking of 11, this marks the ninth anniversary of 9/11 terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Accordingly, the Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida and its reverend Terry Jones are hosting burn a Quran day. Dude, lighten up. Why don’t you have the Muslim extremist rock band Quran Quran play a gig at your church instead?

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Doug sez:

What can you say about the Ole Miss-Jacksonville State game that hasn't already been said? That was a loss of historical proportions. Allowing 39 points after halftime to a FCS opponent? Landshark. Surrendering a 21 point halftime lead? Landshark. Giving up a TD in overtime on 4th and 15? Landshark. Playing Masoli over Stanley down the stretch? Houston Nutt.

Don't worry Rebel fans. It's not the end of the world. I said some pretty strong things about your schedule, but clearly, it was tougher than I thought.

Auburn at Mississippi State (Thursday, ESPN)


The War Beagles head to Vegas to play a rejuvenated Mithhippi State team. Both Auburn and State put up strong offensive numbers in their season openers. Auburn QB Cam Newton was the SEC offensive player of the week, State’s QB Tyler Russell was the SEC freshman of the week. I wasn’t overly impressed with either teams defensive showing. State held down a lame Memphis team, Auburn gave up 26 to Arkansas State. Defense will decide this game, and I am sure both teams held something back in week one just for this week. There are a lot of Auburn and State fans that are hoping that is the case. Home field advantage decides this one, unless you are Shug Jordan, then you blame the cowbells. I’m told that Auburn is 1-7 in road games since the 3-2 slugfest in 2008.

Mississippi State 31 – Auburn 30


This game will tell us just how improved State is. Beating Memphis by a million points isn't exactly a good barometer. Auburn allowing bucketfuls of yards and points to Arkansas State? That's a little interesting. The Cam Newton hype machine is in overdrive, and I guess he deserves it after his performance last week. This week will be more of a test for him. Coach Mullen must have been looking to this game all offseason, after the whipping he took last year, followed by the spurning by Newton on signing day. Does he have the horses to get it done?

War Cam Eagle 31

Bullies 28

Georgia at South Carolina


Mark Richt’s boys laid the lumber on Bobby Bouchet’s boys last weekend. Meanwhile the AKC ate the Golden Buzzards alive. Jawga awaits word from the NCAA on AJ “wanna buy a jersey?” Green’s eligibility. South Carolina has a couple of players hung up by the NCAA agent party investigation as well. UGA does get tailback Washaun Ealey after a one game suspension, but I’m not sure that helps here. Even though Mark Richt has an excellent record on the road in the SEC and he’s owned USC as of late, I think Ellis Johnson’s stout defense will be the difference maker in this one. We’ll find out if Vizor boy’s offense is the real deal or not. I think it is.

South Carolina 24 – UGA 21


Spurrier has almost returned to the Ball Coach of old, making comments about how they should've beaten Southern Miss even worse. But in a rare switch, he actually had nothing but positive comments for Stephen Garcia, who played well in week one. That doesn't mean he won't get yanked in a second against Georgia, though; Coach Spurrier is fickle like that. The Dawgs have to play this game without their stud WR AJ Green. That could be the difference. Well, that, and the UGA defense.

Cackolackey 24

Hairy Dawgs 21

LSU at Vanderbilt

This should be a blowout of biblical proportion. Lately LSU has done an excellent job of not putting opponents away and keeping them down. The hat got lucky against North Carolina. The saving grace for LSU this weekend is that they are playing Vanderbilt and they have much more talent than Vanderbilt has.

ELLESSYOO 31 – Vandy 13

The Tigers just looked like garbage against UNC, and they were lucky to come out of there with a win against what amounted to the second-team Tarheel defense. Vandy, meanwhile, hung in admirably and almost beat a quality Big Ten opponent in Northwestern. I expect the Commodores to drop this one, but it will be closer than the experts think, as the seat Les Miles is sitting in gets a little bit hotter.

Coonasses 24

Easy Like Sunday Morning 17

Western Kentucky at Kentucky


Joker Phillips started his head coaching career at Kentucky with a solid win over arch rival Louisville. This weekend, he hosts the hilltoppers from Western Kentucky. I wonder if they are bringing that red blob mascot with them? I wonder if Ashley Judd will be there in support of her Cats? This should be a W for Joker and his boys.

Kentucky 27 – WKU 3


The Wildcats pocketed a good, solid win against Louisville last week, and they now get rewarded by playing one of the worst football teams in the nation. Congrats, Joker, you're 2-0, and you still have Ole Miss on the schedule!

Wildcats 48

Roadkill 0

South Florida at Florida


The entire nation watched clips from the Gators season opener and asked a collective WTF? Florida’s center-QB exchanges were hideous at best. Was Meyer paying some sort of tribute to the three stooges? I think UF misses Dan Mullen more than they miss Tim Tebow. The Gators best work out these problems before SEC play starts, they will not be as fortunate in conference play.

Florida 34 – USF 17


We're hearing the whispers after the closer-than-expected win for Florida against Miami-OH. What's wrong with the offense? Well, we talked about it last hasn't been the same since Dan Mullen left, and losing Tebow didn't help. That said, everyone else would love to have the same problems that Florida has. They'll get better this week by throttling the Bulls.

Gators 34

Gatorbait 17

ULM at Arkansas


Directional Louisiana at Arkansas, an exciting matchup indeed! Bobby Petrino’s high octane offense should rack up another W. If they score as often as Jim Bob Duggar has, they would shatter some NCAA records. It won’t be that much, but…..

Arkansas 48 – ULM 10


The legend of Ryan Mallet will continue to grow until they play someone with a defense capable of hitting him in the mouth and put all of it to an end. That won't happen this week.

Hogs 48


Penn State at Alabama


The ABC/ESPN machine is trying to spin up the rivalry between these two in the late 70’s and early 80’s. Not gonna happen, things have dramatically changed since then. Alabama has been on probation and has had about seven coaches since Bear Bryant. Joe Pa is using depends these days, but by God, he’s still the head coach. I wonder if Penn State will ever show him the door, ala Florida State? Julio Jones is preparing for entering the NFL draft early, and if he keeps making catches like the one handed TD he did last weekend, he’ll be a high draft pick.

Bammey 31 – State Penn 17


I respect Penn State. You have to respect Joe Paterno, even if it's a bit of a punchline that he's still coaching. They come in ranked in the top 20, and they have high expectations for the season. They will get a strong dose of reality this weekend. No Ingram? No problem. Alabama doesn't blow away folks; they just slowly beat them down and take their will. This will be one of those games where the score isn't out of hand, but make no mistake, Penn State will know they never had a chance.

Ohio State, take notes. You may have a test on this later.

Roll Tide 28

Overmatched 10

Oregon at Tennessee


Derek Dooley started his tenure as Tennesee’s head coach with a cannibalistic win over UT Martin. The competition level changes significantly this weekend as the Oregon Ducks come to town. The same thing can be said for the Ducks. Oregon has managed to somehow get by without former starting QB Jeremiah Masoli. This would be a huge win for the Vols, but I don’t think they will pull it off.

Oregon 34 – Tennessee 21

Mississippi at Tulane


This was supposed to be easy win number two for Mississippi, but they couldn’t manage to get easy win number one over Jacksonville State. Word on the street is that Houston Nutt hired Justin Bieber to sing songs to comfort his team. While Oregon is doing fine without Jeremiah Masoli, the Rebels are winless with him. If Nutt manages to lose this one, expect crosses to be burned in his yard. At least the Ole Miss frat boys don’t have to worry about their laptops being stolen this weekend.

Mississippi 31 – Tulane 13


Well, at least the schedule eases up a bit for the Rebs. Tulane is terrible, and Ole Miss has to win this game convincingly to make the snickering stop. Well, subside, anyway. This is a fun trip for the fans (although not as fun after last week), and this should be an easy, easy win for the Rebs. Stranger things have happened (obviously), but look for the Rebs to make a statement, and that statement is, "hey, at least we're better than Tulane."

The Fighting Masolis 34

Hapless 3