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    Two Daves Pick the SEC - September 18, 2010

    Two Daves Pick The SEC

    September 18, 2010

    Welcome to Two Daves Pick The SEC! Last weekend revealed a little more detail on what some teams have to offer. South Carolina looks to have a god chance in winning the SEC East this year, while Alabama skulldrug State Penn. Auburn saw a much improved Mississippi State team but still won in a tough environment.

    Monday Night Football, game 2, the Chargers at the Chiefs, was like a friggin’ SEC family reunion. Kansas City is stacked with SEC talent, including LSU’s Dwayne Bowe, Glenn Dorsey and Tyson Jackson, Mississippi’s Dexter McCluster, Alabama’s Javier Arenas and Wallace Gilberry , Tennessee’s Eric Berry and Dustin Colquitt. Rounding up the Chiefs was South Carolina’s Ryan Succop. That’s just the ones I saw playing, there are more.

    I should have put this in the preseason edition. In fact, I need to make this the header for every preseason edition, courtesy our old friend CANCUNASS:










    PITCHER -> (editor's note: this is as close as I could get it to appear normal online)
    / \
    / \

    ( +++++ )
    \ / <- LI3K TO SMELL THIS.
    \________/ <- L1EK TO FONDLE THIS.

    FOOH!! BHULLHL!!!!

    You can always find us on the web at

    Doug sez:

    Finally, we get into some meaningful conference games. We had a couple of good ones last week, with Auburn outslugging State in a good,

    old-fashioned, defense-dominated SEC game. South Carolina showed they might be for real, and they might have the best tailback in the league.

    And Ole Miss? Well, they showed that the loss to Jacksonville State may not have been a fluke. Sure, they beat Tulane, but Tulane may very well

    be the worst team in the FBS. For them to struggle, and actually get outplayed by the Wave for most of the second half, should be alarming to

    the Reb faithful. Masoli is simply sensational, however. Oh, and this just in: Alabama is good.

    Alabama at Duke


    I thought this was a misprint, Alabama AT Duke. It’s not. Nick Satan takes his offensive juggernaut (that’s something I never thought I would type in my lifetime) to Durham to face our old friend KOACH KUTKLIFF. This one is gonna be ugly. In fact, it’s the BITCHSLAP of the week! It doesn’t matter if Mark Ingram plays or not, Trent Richardson, Julio “AJ don’t get to play” Jones and Greg McElroy will feast upon the Blue Devils. Coach CHEW CHESS KEY couldn’t even devise a defense to stop the Tide. If Alabama had half of the starters from last years defense, this would be a shutout. It will be very close to one anyway.

    In the weird news of the week, Duke’s Wallace Wade stadium is named for the former Alabama head coach who left Tuscaloosa for Durham.

    Alerbammey 44 – DOOK 3


    Just like I predicted, Alabama embarked on a slow, methodical thrashing of Penn State last week. The score wasn't completely out of hand, but

    make no mistake: PSU was never in it, and they knew it from the opening kick. That's how the Tide beats people. It's classic SEC football at

    its finest...the days before Steve Spurrier came in here with his high-tech forward pass and ruined it for all us purists. Expect a

    similar showing this week from the Tide, except the score will likely get a little more out of hand.

    Tide Rolling 34

    Getting Rolled 0

    Arkansas at Georgia


    Fresh off a loss to Visor Boy, Mark Richt sees the Bobby Petrino express come to town, sporting Ryan Mallet. I wouldn’t be surprised if some redneck tries to jack up Petrino for the way he dumped the Falcons while he’s in Georgia this weekend. The Bulldogs are still without AJ Green and he is a difference maker. Without Green, I don’t think that Jawga can keep up with the Hogz.

    Hogz 31– Dogz 30


    I've been saying all along that I'm not buying the Arkansas hype. They've produced to lackluster showings against pitiful competition thus

    far. Maybe they've been saving up for the real games, but that hasn't historically been Petrino's style. He's usually looking to hang 50 on

    bad football teams. These two are pretty similar football teams....suspect defenses, decent offenses. The Hogs are down a

    tailback, but that doesn't matter since they throw the ball 70% of the time. Ryan Mallet could be the difference here, but I'm sorry Hog fans,

    I just don't buy that Arkansas is ready to win games like this one.

    Hairy Dawgs 28

    Pork 27

    Florida at Tennessee


    Urban Legend has never lost to Tennessee as Florida’s head coach. EVER. Even Visor Boy couldn’t say that. What we won’t see in this game is a total smackdown of the Vols. This is a rivalry game, Tennessee has some talent on the team thank$ to Lane Kiffin, and Derek Dooley is a pretty good coach. Florida’s offense isn’t what it was with Tim Tebow and Dan Mullen. They are good enough to win this one. If Dooley could pull this one off, he’d be a God for the rest of the season. This is the 40th time these two teams have played with the Gators holding a 20-19 edge in the series.

    Make that 21 - 34, Stuck at 19 - 13


    This is not Fulmer's Vols, or even Major's Vols. These Vols suck. Luckily for them, they aren't playing Spurrier's Gators. Or Meyer's

    Gators, for that matter. Florida has looked mediocre at best, and with the loss of Chris Rainey, they are an injury away from being in serious

    trouble offensively. UT showed last week that they just don't have the horses to deal with teams that have superior speed and skill. Florida

    still has that...for now.

    Gators 27

    Gator Bait 14

    Mississippi State at LSU


    If it weren’t for Alabama playing at Duke, this would be the bitchslap of the week. This is the home opener for the Tigers. Mississippi State played a strong defensive game against Auburn, but the offense reeked. LSU had a solid win over Vanderbilt, but hey, its Vanderbilt. Some State fans foolishly think they have a chance against a susceptible LSU team. LSU fans think their team, particularly their offense, sucks. They remember barely getting out of Starkvegas alive last year. This game won’t be that way. Auburn showed you how to win, pressure State’s quarterbacks and they will choke. It doesn’t help having stone handed receivers either. I wouldn’t be surprised if Patrick Peterson gets anther pick six against State. This guy is a Heisman caliber player. John Chavis, LSU’s defensive coordinator, will have his boys ready.

    LSU 34 – Mithippi State 13


    Right now, State is a sexy pick to upset LSU. I'm not buying it. MSU hasn't beaten the Tigahs in 11 years, and even that win was a gift from

    the refs. In 2000, State had a team that beaten two top ten teams previously (Florida and Auburn), and was in the driver's seat to win the

    west, and they still lost to Gerry Dinardo. Yep, the dawgs are snakebitten against the coonasses. Last year is the most recent

    chapter, when State had four downs to gain a yard and win the game in the final minute. Snakebit. There are few certainties in picking SEC

    games. This is one of them. Always take the Tigahs over the Dawgs.

    Coonasses 21

    Snakebit 17

    Mississippi at Vanderbilt


    Admiral Ackbar against the Commodores, that sounds like a bad sci-fi movie. Well, if you choose to watch this game, you will feel like you just watched a bad movie. Neither of these teams are very good this year. Jacksonville State, need I say more? It’s Vanderbilt, I don’t want to say any more.

    Mississippi 21 – Vanderbilt 10


    If you're Houston Nutt, you woke up this morning to a reality check. You're 1-1 on the season, have significant concerns about your offensive

    and defensive lines, and have been terribly outplayed in the second half of every game you've played to this point. And this week you have to

    play the toughest team on your schedule to date. And that team is.....Vanderbilt. That's right, SEC fans. As bad as things may be for

    you for whatever reason, at least you're not Houston Nutt.

    Vandy's defense will keep the Commodores in this one, and Vandy's offense will be so bad, it will lull the Reb faithful into believing

    that their defense finally found themselves. Ole Miss traditionally struggles with Vandy, and events of the season so far suggest that Vandy

    could win this one, but I ain't buyin'.

    Confederates 16

    Doormats 14

    Clemson at Auburn


    The Tigers at the Tigers. How unique. What was that sound? It was Cam Newton jacking up another defender. Newton is a freak of nature. He’s huge, fast, has cat like reflexes and never gets tackled going backwards. He’s got a $uper $ized wallet to boot. Even superman had his kryptonite, and Newton’s is the passing game. He is an effective runner, but he still hasn’t proven that he can stretch the field with his arm. Auburn’s defensive line should control Clempson’s offense. This one will be closer than you think.

    Auburn 24 – Clempson 20


    I'm glad to see that someone is willing to step out of conference and play a traditional ACC power. In the battle of the Tigers, the Clemson

    variety are probably going to bite off more than they can chew with Mr. Newton. Cam runs right, Cam runs left, Cam throws it over the top, and

    Coach Chizik looks like a genius for hiring Gus Malzahn and outbidding Mississippi State for the services of his outstanding QB.

    SEC Tigers 31

    ACC Tigers 21

    Akron at Kentucky


    Lets call this what it is, a scrimmage. Kentucky will handle Akron with ease. I like to think of Joker Phillips as the first black head coach in the SEC. Joker can flat out coach. Sylvester Croom was a bad experiment.

    Jokers Wild 41 – Thanks for the check 17


    The Wildcats are fattening up on bad football teams. The Joker Phillips era marches on.

    Wildcats 48

    Roadkill 0

    Furman at South Carolina


    Look Ma, another scrimmage! All is well in Columbia as the Cocks beat the Dogz. Spurrier hates Jawga and he beat them. Making things better is Ellis Johnson’s defense. The guy is a mastermind. The AKC might make it to Atlanta this year, and not just on a connecting flight.

    South Carolina 38 – Furman 3


    Coach Spurrier gets a breather before next week's showdown with Auburn. That will be a fun one. This one, not so much. Expect lots of playing time for the third teamers.

    Cocks 44

    Who? 7

  2. #2

    Two Daves Pick the SEC - September 18, 2010

    FYI: Saban became LSU's coach in 2000. DiNardo was fired before the 1999 Arky game (which they won).

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