Two Daves Pick the SEC

October 2, 2010

Welcome to Two Daves Pick the SEC! One-third of the 2010 season is complete and we have been able to clump teams into groups of contenders or pretenders, or just flat out terrible. Ryan Mallett is the whiniest little bitch of a quarterback that I’ve seen in a long time. Every time you turn around, he’s whining and complaining to the officials again. Mallett effectively eliminated himself from Heisman contention against Alabama and defending Heisman winner Mark Ingram.

Speaking of the Heisman, I’m firmly promoting LSU’s studly cornerback Patrick Peterson for Heisman. This guy has tremendous speed and quickness, particularly for his size, and fantastic hands. By himself, he is a big time game changer. Ingram is second on my list, followed closely by Cam Newton, who is rocketing up the list with exceptional performances.

Doug sez:

Well, I was hard on Ole Miss last week, and they actually turned in an SEC-quality performance. Maybe if I go back to being nice and easy on them, they’ll return to their cosmically embarrassing selves. As for the rest of the pack, Georgia is hurting, Spurrier is griping, and Kentucky had their reality check. Alabama toyed with Arkansas before dashing their dreams. Just another week in the SEC.

Alcorn State at Mississippi State

Alcorn State you say? The Alcorn State mentioned by Detective Nick Yemana in an episode of Barney Miller? Why yes it is. By far, the most famous Alcorn alumnus is the late and great Steve “Air” McNair. This will be the first meeting between these two schools as Dan Mullen makes it a point to play schools in Mississippi every year, starting with Jackson State last year.

Mississippi State managed to pull off a win over visiting Jawga in Vegas, probably ending Mark Richt’s tenure in Athens. Sylvester Croom is gone, so Richt didn’t get Croomed, he was Mullenated. As others at call it, danhandled. Either way, starting the season 1-4, 0-3 in the conference, condemns Richt. Jawga shouldn’t fire him for that, they should fire him after 10 arrests of his players this year, with the most recent being Demetre Baker, who got a DUI after the State loss. Baker didn’t even make the trip to Vegas.

Props to State’s safety Nickoe Whitley, who absolutely JACKED UP Jawga’s Washun Eley , separating the ball, Eleay’s helmet and almost his head as Ealey was about to cross the goal line. So I give Whitley the Whack of the Week for that hit. If State plays as crisply as they did against Memphis, this will be a bitchslap. I’m not sold on that Memphis game not being a fluke.

Mithhhippppi State 37 – Alcorn State 10

Doug says:

This is the part where State shows last week’s win over Georgia wasn’t a fluke. The Dawgs play without TE Marcus Green and DL Fletcher Cox (who was dastardly clipped last week by a Georgia thug), but it doesn’t matter. The best performance from the visitors will be at halftime when the tuba players “Get Jiggy With It”. During the game, the only dancing will be Bulldog players moonwalking into the endzone.

Dawgs 58 - Paycheck 7

Florida at Alabama

You want a marquee matchup? Here it is. Defending national champion Alabama hosts the newest Urban Legend, Trey Burton and his coach Urban Meyer. Burton, a true freshman, scored six touchdowns against Sucky Kentucky, breaking a school record set by some guy named Tebow. In five carries, he scored five touchdowns. Welcome to head coaching in the SEC, Joker!

Alabama’s defense was picked apart by Ryan Mallett for the first half against Arkansas. Satan himself did some adjusting at halftime and shut down Mallett. Meanwhile, Mark Ingram and Trent Richardson continued running for miles. It just doesn’t seem fair for one team to have both of these guys.

So this game doesn’t have the luster of the 2009 SEC Championship game, its still the best two teams in the SEC slugging it out. Florida will have to play perfect to win this game. Perfection is far from this team, there are still issues with the center-QB exchanges. If Florida still had Aaron Hernandez, I could see them exploiting the Tide’s secondary. Deonte Thompson just isn’t the playmaker Hernandez was, and he’s the best the Gators have.

The two-headed hammer of Ingram and Richardson will be slowed down at first by the rock of the Gator defense. Just like most other rocks, if you hit them long enough and hard enough with a hammer, they break. That’s exactly what I expect to happen in Tuscaloosa.

Alabama 27 – Florida 17

Doug says:

I’m half-tempted to pick Florida. Seriously. I was surprised by Alabama’s near miss in Fayetteville last week. Maybe I just need to come to the realization that Arkansas is just that good, but I can’t do it. The Tide has a habit of methodically doing what they need to do, but Florida has the talent to hang with them, and when the game comes down to a possession, anything can happen. Since this one is at the Big Trailer Park, I’ll go ahead and give it to the Tide by a whisker.

Crimson Legends 24 – Urban Legends 23

Directional Louisiana at Auburn

Last week I said someone would step up and make a big play to win the game between Auburn and South Carolina. Cam Newton did that, and he did it three or four times. His performance against Clemson and now South Carolina shot him up my Heisman list. Newton’s arm still isn’t perfect, but its good enough, and his legs are more than enough. The only concern for Auburn for the rest of the season is LSU and at Alabama. In the one game outside of the friendly confines of Jordan Hare stadium, Auburn looked beatable. If Mississippi State’s receivers could catch a cold, they probably do beat Auburn. Odds are this year’s Iron Bowl decides who goes to Atlanta.

Auburn 38 – NWSENESWLA 13

Doug says:

So now, Auburn finally gets a breather on the schedule. They need it. Quietly, they are proving that they are going to be a force in the SEC race. They’re already battle-tested, with quality wins over USCe, Clemson, and Mississippi State. More tests are ahead. This is a week for the Tigers to rest and take it easy, and enjoy their accomplishments a little while longer, before the inevitable late season collapse arrives.

War Tigers 55 – Paycheck 10

Kentucky at Mississippi

The mildcats are reeling after being skulldrug in the Swamp. They won’t face anything close to Florida when they visit Vaught Hemingway this weekend. Mississippi lost to Jacksonville State and Vanderbilt at home. They also lost stud DE Kentrell Lockett to a torn ACL last weekend. Kentucky can come in and win this game, if they still have any confidence left after the Florida game. Joker Phillips will have a big test in seeing if he can get his guys up for a game after such a let down. I’d flip a coin for the winner of this one, but Jeremiah Masoli would probably steal that too.

Mississippi 24 – Kentucky 23

Doug says:

I was wrong about Mississippi. Clearly, they haven’t lost a thing from back-to-back Cotton Bowl championships. They’re as strong as ever on both sides of the ball, with brilliant tactician Houston Nutt drawing up the plays that wow the enthusiastic, sellout crowds that pack Vaught Doublewide Stadium. They’ve lost tailback Enrique Davis and all SEC defensive end Kentrell Lockett to injury. And in a move that QB Jeremiah Masoli deemed harsh, Nutt gave promising linebacker Clarence Jackson the boot, since he had the urge to steal him a TV. But guess what: they don’t need ‘em. As long as they’ve got Masoli and Nutt, they’re good. The rest of the SEC better look out.

Surging Rebels 24 – Endangered Wildcats…………….42

Georgia at Colorado

Mark Richt is in unfamiliar territory, Colorado. Having spent most of his coaching career in Florida and Georgia, he gets to go into the mountains and face the Beefaloes. Georgia moved the ball in Starkville pretty well, but penalties and turnovers killed them. Georgia isn’t far off from being a pretty good football team, this might be good medicine for UGA. Getting AJ Green back will be great medicine for the dogs.

Georgia 31 – Colorado 30

Doug says:

Georgia is fine. Everyone calm down. You’ve lost some hard-fought games to some tough opponents. You’ve done without superstar AJ Green. You’ve got good skill players, and your QB, though a freshman, looks poised and mobile. Ok, so your defense sucks, but you can’t have everything. Hunker down, you hairy dawgs, because it will get better. At least until you get to the cocktail party.

Hairy Dawgs 42 – Intramurals, Brother! 17

Tennessee at LSU

If LSU had a quarterback worth a damn, this would be the bitchslap of the week. The Tiger defense is playing at a very high level, while the offense struggles every week. Tennessee plays great for a half, then they fall apart. Just ask Oregon and UAB. This will be Derek Dooley’s first road game as Tennessee’s coach, and he’s lucky its not at night. LSU’s defense, led by Patrick Peterson will feast upon Tennessee’s offense. I don’t know that LSU’s offense will get fed against the Volunteers. There will still be unhappy people on the bayou after this one, the unhappiest 5-0 people you’ll ever know.

Ellessyoo 27 – Tennessee 13

Doug says:

I could be all witty and cute here, but everything I need to say can be summed up in three simple acronyms: OT? UAB? WTF?

Coonasses 34 – Can we bring back Fulmer? 14

Vanderbilt at Uconn

The Commodores head way up north to face a pretty good Uconn team. Uconn is no Mississippi, so the Commodores will have a real fight on their hands. I don’t think they have enough to pull this one off.

Uconn 27 - Vandy 16

Doug says:

Memo to Vandy: You are in the SEC. You don’t have to play quality non-conference opponents. You can lose to Jacksonville State just as easily as Ole Miss can. Do yourself a favor and follow the Rebel Scheduling Method ™ and get yourself some easy non-conference wins. Playing Northwestern and UConn, you’re just asking for a two-win season.

We Play Football Too 24 – Easy Like Sunday Morning 14