Two Daves Pick the SEC

October 9, 2010

Welcome to Two Daves Pick the SEC! As I watched the end of the Tennessee-LSU clusterf…. oh yeah, It’s a family show…… the Tennessee-LSU game, I was thinking two things: 1) LSU is going to get a flag for illegal procedure with all those guys running on/off the field 2) Lester will be disemboweled on the 50 yard line for this most recent screwup of biblical proportion in the category of clock management. As Derek Dooley ran on to the field glowing with excitement for his first SEC win, I was amazed there were no flags on the field. Wait, hold the presses there is a flag, but it was on Tennessee. Thirteen men on the field, two more than they should have had. LSU gets one more chance at life. If Tennessee just sits still they win because of LSU’s wretched clock management. I won’t categorize Dooley in the dumb as lester category just yet, he’s a young coach. Lester hasn’t fixed his problem, Gary Crowton. Until Crowton and/or Jordan Jefferson is gone, these clock management problems will continue to plague LSU.



Doug says:





Last week's LSU-Tennessee debacle set SEC football back 20 years. Two teams that have historically been conference powerhouses took turns trying to out-retard each other. If you ever visit the Lester Miles household and have to use the facilities there, you will surely see a book next to the toilet entitled Clock Management for Dummies by Jackie Sherrill. After watching the Tigahs completely whittle away any chance to win that game, it was apparent that Miles has been doing his homework, because I haven't seen time managed so poorly since Kang Jackie was roaming the sidelines in Starkville. So, we saw the LSU coaches let the clock run down while they panicked, and naturally, the result was a fumbled snap and ballgame over. Of course, Tennessee countered this by having 13 men on the field, giving LSU a free untimed down from inside the 1 yard line. Brilliant. The last minute of that game actually overshadowed a superb effort by the Vols, but ten years from now, nobody will be talking about that.









In other news, Georgia really sucks, Ole Miss may not be so bad after all (at least offensively), and Alabama continues to roll. Oh, and I am not very good at picking winners so far this year, either.









LSU at Florida





Dave:





Florida is clearly missing Dan Mullen. Mullen adjusts his offense to fit his personnel. The Gators are still trying to run Tebow plays with a prototypical pocket passer, and that isn’t going to work. Alabama ran all over the Gators, but when you have two first round draft picks at running back, that tends to happen.





What else is there to say about LSU? Les Miles has clearly sold his soul to the devil, nobody naturally has that much luck. What used to be an exciting game just doesn’t have that same appeal now. LSU doesn't have Alabama's running game, and the offense as a whole just isn't performing well.



Florida 24 – LSU 23





Doug:





The Lester Miles traveling circus makes its way to the swamp this week.




Unfortunately for him, he can't count on the Gators handing him the game on a silver platter like Tennessee did last week. I think that when you dump Miles' decision making in a big pot, and add the lack of a reliable QB, the injured pride of a Gator team that was humiliated by Alabama, and the white-hot passion of 80,000 fans in the swamp, the result is a poison stew for the Tigahs.









Tigerbait 24





Gatorbait 20













Tennessee at Georgia





Dave:





It’s been nice knowing you Mark Richt! Losing to a hideous Colorado team has sealed your fate. The only way you could possibly make your life more miserable would be to lose to Tennessee. Speaking of the Vols, I don’t know how Dooley gets his guys back up off the floor after an epic failure by their coaches. This game should be ugly, neither team knows how to win any more. Remember back in the late 90’s, LSU’s Gerry DiNardo wanted his team to “be like Mississippi State” and win the close games and the SEC West. Well, it appears that both Tennessee and Georgia resemble Mississippi State, however in the Croom regime and both have surpassed State in suckiness. Folks, that’s hard to do.





Jawga 21 – Tennessee 20







Doug says:





It's full crisis mode in Athens right now. It's gotten so bad that Mark Richt has decided to change his pregame routine and run out ahead of the team when they take the field, instead of running behind them. Whatever you think will work, coach. Vols coach Derek Dooley is listed as questionable for this game after injuring his shoulder from repeatedly spiking his headset in the last two minutes of the LSU game, and his cardiologist is on speed dial after he went from the euphoric high of a huge upset in Death Valley, to the lowest of lows that come with crapping the bed in historic fashion in front of millions over the span of about 30 seconds. The winner of this compelling matchup will be the team who is the most desperate at this point. I believe that team is Georgia.









Dogged 28





Rocky 24













Auburn at Kentucky





Dave:





Sucky Kentucky! Kentucky didn’t take care of the ball and they lost to a bad Ole Miss team. Auburn skulldrug directional Louisiana and Cam Newton is putting up Heisman numbers. This will be Auburn’s second game outside of the loveliest village on the plains, and I expect they will handle it just fine. Then again, they only won by three in Starkville. Either State is better than thought or Auburn is not. My money is on the former.





Auburn 31 – Kensucky 13







Doug:





Well, we now know that Kentucky is the same old Sucky Kentucky that we've always known. New coach, same old crap. I expected Joker's boys to handle Ole Miss, but it just didn't happen. Now, they've got a Tiger by the tail, even if it's in their own house. Cam Newton will run wild in Lexington. Cheer up, Cat fans. Calipari's Felons take the floor in just a few weeks.









Looking for the Heisman 34





Looking to Hoops Season 14













Alabama at South Carolina





Dave:





The ol’ ball coach now faces one of the biggest challenges of his tenure at South Carolina, perhaps his entire coaching career. The Tide comes rolling in off a bitchslap of Florida. The only bad news for Bammey is that Julio Jones has a sore knee. Defensive mastermind Ellis Johnson will dial up a supreme gameplan for the AKC, he is one of the best coordinators in the business. The question becomes how can South Carolina score on Alabama? I don’t know the answer to that question. I think the Carolina defense wears out from being on the field too much. Unlike #4 Ole Miss last year, Bama is a legitimate top 5 team.



Alabama 27 – AKC 17





Doug:





I love Coach Spurrier. He had a beautiful dig on Les Miles this week.




"Sometimes you can be a dumb coach and still win ballgames, as we've seen recently." He was originally talking about previous matchups with Nick Saban, and how in the early days when Spurrier was at Florida and Saban was at LSU, the Ol' Ball Coach always seemed smarter, but more recently, Saban has won the battle of wits. We all know, and LSU confirms, that the most important thing is talent on the field. That can overcome a lot of stupidity. And looking purely at talent, South Carolina has a lot of it, but not nearly as much as Alabama. This is why the Tide will have their way with Carolina this weekend.









Tide Rolling 27





AKC 6













Eastern Michigan at Vanderbilt







The return of the EMU. There are two things you can usually count on in October: Mariano Rivera mowing batters down and Vanderbilt finding a way to lose. For some strange reason, I think Vanderbilt can pull this game out. Maybe I need medication.





Vandy 24 – large feathered animals 17





Doug:





Now that Vanderbilt is actually playing a winnable non-conference game, let's see if they can get it done. The rest of the SEC is wondering what that smell is...and it's Vanderbilt....getting drilled by a bunch of Connecticut Yankees last week. C'mon and redeem yourselves this week, 'Dores.









Easy Like Sunday Morning 24





Roadkill? 20













Texas A&M vs. Arkansas (in Dallas)





Dave says:





WHOOOOOOO PIG, SOOOOOIE! Yes, I’m sure that Jerry Jones will join in on the calling of the Hogs in his billion dollar mansion. Texas A&M has been plagued with turnovers, which give Mallet and more chances to score and complain to the refs.





SEC 34 – 12th man 20







Doug says:





Jerry Jones loves having his beloved Hogs come into his house. This one could've had bigger implications if the Aggies had grown a pair and accepted the invitation to join the SEC over the summer. As it stands, this game really means nothing. There will be a lot of Aggie fans in Dallas, but the Hogs will have their share. At the end of the day, the quality on the field will dictate the winner here, and that is Arkansas, all day.









Sooie 37





Big 12 Proud 17













Mississippi State at Houston





Dave:





Just as Derek Dooley made his young coaching mistake last week, Dan Mullen pulled one last year against Houston. An illegal forward pass was called on Mississippi State against Houston that was in fact legal. Mullen should have called time out and let the refs review it. He didn’t and State lost. Houston is probably glad that Anthony Dixon is gone after his highlight reel 50 yard TD run dragging three cougars with him the last 20 yards. Houston also misses its starting and backup quarterbacks, both lost for the season to injury in the same game. Just as Lester has good luck, Houston has bad luck. Two true freshmen have been battling it out on who gets to start against an SEC team. Note to Mullen, Vick Ballard is your friend, run him early and often.





Mstate 34 – Not Mstate 24





Doug:





There's actually some storylines associated with this game. Last year, State had the Coogs beat, if not for the moronic C-USA officials protecting the visiting team. Don't think Dan Mullen has forgotten this. His task of retribution is much easier now that Houston is on their third and fourth string QBs. Add in the fact that Houston has suspended their leading WR for this game for the dreaded "violation of team rules." Houston probably has enough talent to compete in C-USA without a QB, but against an SEC team? I don't see it. Look for the Dawgs to inch closer to bowl eligibility.









Cougar Hunters 35





Cougars 20