Two
Daves Pick The SEC



November
18, 2010





Welcome
to Two Daves Pick The SEC! Allegedly,
there will be some breaking news tonight on ESPN about the Cam Newton
situation. There have been more twits
sending out tweets than I care to discuss.One thing that is funny, I mean really funny, is this:





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiL5UJmkfco





Watch
it, my picks will make more sense to you then.





Doug
says:





Camgate
continues to be the top story in the SEC, while Auburn fans continue to keep
their heads in the sand. The team slogan this year is “All In,” and
that’s exactly what they’ve done here….they’ve been playing high-stakes poker,
they’re down to their final few chips, and they’ve gone all in on a 2-6 off
suit. They have their straight draw in tact as long as Newton keeps
playing and racking up his Heisman-worthy numbers, but you know that in the
end, the river won’t be as sweet as it needs to be. And if you buy into
conspiracy theories, you should mosey on over to Tigerdroppings and read all
about the underbelly of the Alabama political scene and how all of this may end
up being tied together. I don’t know how believable it is, but it’s
certainly entertaining, unless you’re an Auburn fan.





Meanwhile,
we’re still playing football in this league, and Auburn is clearly the best
team in the conference right now. Congratulations to Steve Spurrier for
getting his Gamecocks to Atlanta. Winning the SEC East is something of a
consolation prize this year, though.







Georgia
State at Alabama (Thursday)





Dave:





Bill
Curry returns to bammey, only to see satan rip his head off and eat it. Easily the bitchslap of the week. It’s gonna take at least 100 grand to get the
son of the preacher man.





Alabama
54 – Jawga State 0





Doug:





Wow.
This is the Thursday night game? What a snoozer. The announcers
will spend more time talking about Cam Newton than the game. The
conversation will probably be more interesting, too.





Rolling
52



Roadkill
0







Troy
at South Carolina





Dave:





Troy’s
starting QB went down with a nasty leg break earlier this season, very similar
to Joe Theisman and Lawrence Taylor.Carolina can lose this one 50-0 and it doesn’t matter, they are finally
headed to Atlanta. Kenny Rogers knows
what’s going on and the FBI is on the phone.





AKC
31 – Troy 10





Doug:





In
past years, Troy has been known to put a scare in folks. Well, this year,
Troy isn’t that team. They’re terrible. Look for Spurrier’s boys to
take a breather before their annual loss to Clemson.





Cackolackey
42



Roadkill
14









Appalachian
State at Florida





Dave:





What
do Urban’s boys have left to play for?Well, a better bowl. Outside of
that, not much. Don’t expect App State
to surprise the Gators like they did Michigan.. Could have been a failin’
grade, or parking tickets left unpaid.





Chomp
37 – Ouch! 13





Doug:





A
four loss season for the Gators is truly shocking. It wasn’t too long ago
that Appalachian State went to the Big House and beat Michigan. In
retrospect, it wasn’t too huge of an upset. That said, it won’t happen
here, even against a four-loss Florida team.





Gators
48



Gatorbait
7











Mississippi
at LSU





Dave:





After
being sodomized by Tennessee, Houston Nutt had the nuttiest press conference
he’s probably ever had. Dude has lost
it. Then again, he may have never had
it. LSU is hoping that the NCAA smacks
down Auburn soon so they can play for the SEC title and maybe the BCS title. Lester might have grazed extra this week so
he doesn’t drop four in a row to the Nutt.Laptops don’t come for free and stealin’ came so easily.





Atlanta
Hopeful 27 – Not bowl eligible 10







Doug:





I
want to predict this one as Dave’s b*tchslap of the week, and that is quite the
statement considering that there are three helpings of roadkill on the agenda
this week. Funny thing, though…Ole Miss always hangs in with LSU,
and even wins their fair share against the Tigers. Reverend Nutt went
postal on the fanbase last week, reminding them that he’s done in the last two
years at Ole Miss what they haven’t done in 50 years prior. Atta boy,
Houston. A couple of more rants like that, and Rebel fans will finally
understand why Hog fans hated you so much. He’ll have his boys ready to
play, no doubt. His problem is that he’s several fries short of a happy
meal on the defensive side of the ball.





Coonasses
35



Bears
21









Arkansas
at Mississippi State





Dave:





State
was squished by Alabama. Satan showed
the game plan to beat State, stay away from MLB Chris White, play on the edges,
make the corners earn it. Ryan Mallet
will have a field day in Starkville, easily putting up 300 yards. Down south there are two things that are very
important – preaching and college football.





Arkansas
37 – State 24





Doug:





This
one is a bad, bad matchup for MSU. They will be ultra-conservative, try
to kill the clock, and keep Ryan Mallett and the high-powered Hog offense on
the sidelines. The problem is that they’ll have to score touchdowns every
time they have the ball, and Arkansas proved that they can stop the run when
they played Carolina. Petrino’s offense + MSU’s secondary =
Pointsapalooza for the Hogs. This one will be over early.





Running
Hogs 42



Walking
Bully 24







Tennessee
at Vanderbilt





Dave:





Tennessee
demolished Ole Miss last weekend and I expect them to nuke Vanderbilt. The Vols might make it to a bowl game after
all. Not since Clemson and Danny Ford
has a tiger been this corrupt my lord.





Tennessee
35 – Vanderbilt 17





Doug:





Break
up the Vols! Two huge blowouts in consecutive weeks. Okay, it was
Memphis and Ole Miss, but still, you get the point. To Orange Nation, the
Birmingham Bowl has never looked so good, and they actually feel like they have
a shot to get to six wins. They’ll get number five this weekend, but
Kentucky is going to give them all they want for number six.





Not
so Rocky 38



Still
Easy 17